What its like to KNOW you've made a difference

Training has been going well, the students are making real progress in their ability to teach each other and not "enable" each other. I use the term enable here in the more negative way. To enable someone means to support them in such a way that allows their continued dependence on you, or someone else. Its a subtle skill of working with a student when they ask for assistance, you can give them the answer, which is the simpler thing to do. Or, you can ask them questions that cause them to solve their own problems. One way creates reliance on the instructor, the other fosters independence, I'm sure you can figure out which is which.

This is my classroom

Because we're not here for 2 years we can't go into the immense level of detail in instruction that we do at Florida State University. Instead, I'm teaching the students to think for themselves and to attempt to solve their own problems rather than be reliant on some fancy thing, or some not so fancy instructor from the US to come and tell them how to do it. In essence, just like I'm teaching the individual instructors to not be enablers of their students, I'm also teaching the whole group not to be reliant on me, or some other foreign source to answer their own questions.

So, making a difference: Part of what I wanted to do when visiting here was to pull the parents together of the kids that are worked through Enable India, the group that is hosting me. The term Enable, in Enable India is sort of a bit of irony, after I've explained my definition of what "enable" means, but its not what they mean. So, yesterday at 3pm about 20 or so parents, with their 10 children aged 2 and a half to 15 came to the centre for the differently-abled,

Centre for the Differently-Abled where we had the training for the parents

and for the next 3 hours Susan, Lauren, Melissa and Quin worked with the kids and made an American meal of grilled cheese, bananas, and Oreos, while I worked with the parents talking about visual impairment, the way a child with a visual impairment learns, the power of high expectations, etc. The parents were SO engaged, asking lots of questions of me and each other, and were exchanging contact information. At one point, I asked them to raise their hand if it was the first time they had been around another parent of a child with a visual impairment and every parent in the room raised their hand!

Can you imagine?? You have a child with a visual impairment. You are the only person that you know in your situation. Your friends don't understand what you are dealing with, they simply have pity. You don't want pity, you love your child and you want what's best for him just like every other parent in the world. Now imagine you've raised this child for 9 years with no one to really bounce ideas off of, you have a "professional" to talk to with Enable India, but its not like being able to sit over coffee or tea and just chat with someone who really understands. Now, you come into a room with 18 other people that are going, or have gone through many of the exact same trials and successes you've gone through. It was a REAL experience for everyone, and there were a few cases of misty eyes and goose bumps, at least for me.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Lauren, Susan, and Melissa were herding children around with a 13 year age span trying to introduce them to what we call "independent living skills" the skills one needs to be successful alone in the world, like cooking. For most of the kids they worked with, this was the first time they had really ever been asked to take responsibility for their own food and its preparation. If you could have seen the looks on their faces as they brought their "American food" to their parents, it was truly beautiful. You could see the feeling of accomplishment in their faces, and the pride in their steps.

Kids peeling bananas with Susan

Older students making sandwiches

A pile of grilled cheese

One person enjoying it :-)

One of the things that continues to impress me is how much the parents do for their children here in India. We often struggle to get parents to learn braille so they can read with their children, and here in India, many of the parents not only know braille, they also put their children in schools and transcribe all the work for the child into braille, struggling for the career of their child in school to get them access and a school that will allow them in and not treat them like monsters. 

The parents all told Shantala that they wanted to do this again. I encouraged them to keep meeting and supporting each other, as this really is one of the best ways to make growth. I also promised the young lady with albinism that I would ship her a magnifier. She can't get one here that is working for her. So, someone remind me to buy one when I get home. Next time I might see about getting some magnifiers donated, or take donations to buy them to bring with me next time I go to a country, the students would really value them like gold here.

The whole group

So last night, as I was going to sleep I was incredibly exhausted, but also immensely satisfied, knowing that yesterday, even if I get nothing else accomplished on the rest of this trip in India, we made a difference in the lives of children and parents. There is not a single doubt in my mind that we altered the trajectory of lives for the better. Thanks for coming along with me on this journey.

~Mickey